Are you tired of the oppressive tyranny of red lights and stop signs? Frustrated by speed limits that infringe upon your God-given right to drive as fast as your 1992 Geo Metro will carry you? Look no further, freedom fighter! Welcome to the Sovereign Citizen Traffic School, where the rules of the road are just cute suggestions, and the only laws you follow are the Laws of Nature!
🏴☠️ At Sovereign Citizen Traffic School, you'll learn invaluable skills such as:
The Art of Diplomatic Immunity: Turn any traffic stop into a debate club meeting!
License Plate Alchemy: Create your own plate out of cardboard and a Sharpie – because who needs government-issued IDs?
Registration Evasion: Why pay to register your vehicle when you can spend that money on more bumper stickers declaring your sovereignty?
Turn Signal Anarchy: Discover how using turn signals actually reveals your plans to the government. Stay unpredictable!
Insurance Schminsurance: Who needs insurance when you have unshakeable faith in your own driving abilities?
📜 Our curriculum is based on the ancient scrolls of legal gibberish, mystical maritime law, and the lost language of loophole-ese. Forget the DMV; our certificates are printed on the back of fast-food receipts for that extra touch of legitimacy.
💼 Our expert faculty includes:
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Professor "I Do Not Consent" McGee, a veteran of courtroom monologues.
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Doctor "Am I Being Detained?" Smith, with a PhD in aggressive window signage.
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Master "Traveler, Not a Driver" Jones, who once turned a roundabout into a homestead.
🛣️ Graduates of our program will be fully equipped to:
Pave their own roads – because public roads are just too mainstream.
Erect their own traffic signs on their lawn (Yield to Freedom!).
Cultivate the confidence to tell any law enforcement officer, “I am traveling under the Articles of Confederation.”
📢 Testimonials from our successful students:
"Since joining the Sovereign Citizen Traffic School, I’ve successfully traveled to court twelve times this month alone!"
"Thanks to SCTS, I now know that the real speed limit is however fast my guardian angel can fly."
"I thought turn signals were just the government's way of tracking me. Now, I change lanes like a ghost – unseen and mysterious."
So come on down to Sovereign Citizen Traffic School, where your driver's "license" to freedom awaits!